Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Randomize
