im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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