is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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