Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
