Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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