You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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