I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Randomize
