she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I want to be your penis for a week.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
