yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
