I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
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