i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You dont lie about slip and slides
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
