All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
