I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
