i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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