so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
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