Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
did i walk over a car last night?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Also, beer. Big fan.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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