it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
