dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
