i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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