Umm I'm too high to move.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
