Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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