Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
