return my video game
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize