Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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