Swine flu. Run for my life!
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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