I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
