yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
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