maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
