Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize