you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Randomize
