Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize