I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
