i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
