yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
God, you're like boner-b-gone
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
