You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Randomize
