my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
