I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
