I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
