make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
