operation harelip BJ is a go
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
