i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
