i don't like sucking hair
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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