I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
