There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
