please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
