North Korea, Best Korea!
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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