Where are you?
In a non slutty way
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
