im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
