I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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