When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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