I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
