Jerry, you need to find god
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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