so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
