I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
she told me i tasted like america
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize