i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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