quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
