The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
