Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I wish i was in the wii world.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize